Clear thinking requires always optimizing for the truth. And that means confronting all your demons head on.
I was sitting in a meeting recently wondering why I was drawn to some and tuning out others. Why is it that some people can speak about any topic and get to the important insights and questions? How is it that a product designer can have the most insightful things to say about marketing strategy? I had assumed that clear thinking comes from deep subject matter expertise, which it does, but instinctually knew I was missing a second component. Over time, I noticed the common denominator of clear thinkers was a low ego.
Simply put, having a low ego means you seek the truth in yourself. It means you have confronted and accepted the deeply held beliefs you have about yourself. And only then - once you can seek the truth in yourself - can you seek the truth in the world around you.
Think of a ship trying to set sail with an anchor down. It obviously doesn’t work because the anchor is preventing the ship from moving. The purpose of the anchor is to keep you in place, not help you move. The purpose of your ego is to protect your ego, not help you see the truth. They are conflicting goals. Low ego allows you to focus on the external world. High ego makes you protect your internal world.
Consider the last time you got harsh feedback. Let’s say it’s from Tommy, a director on your team who you don’t like and find his feedback overly critical. Here he comes again with feedback that your designs are confusing and require another iteration.
Were you able to think clearly? Were you able to parse out the emotions and take the parts of feedback that were useful? Did you even hear his feedback? Or have you written everything he says off because he is a jerk who activates you?
It is not to say, you shouldn’t feel emotions or get activated. That is normal and a part of being human. What is important is whether you have the tools to notice the feeling, let it pass and address it. If you can do that, you will be that much closer to clear thinking.
So next time you are feeling a lack of clarity, pause and ask yourself - is my ego getting in the way of the truth?
P.S.
I sometimes still find it uncomfortable to talk about ego and feelings and the touchy-feely stuff. It is a helpful reminder that the best in the world are talking about these things, just avoiding saying so.
Examples:
There is still some stigma around therapists for leaders, so the therapists got rebranded as executive coaches
How to be in tune with your feelings is not a sexy name for a leadership program, so it is named Leaders in Tech instead
The most capable people in the world are investing in emotional intelligence, and you should be too.