Until death all defeat is psychological
Choosing your story
What if I told you that you can never lose again?
Life is a series of events without inherent meaning. Events are not good or bad or frustrating or empowering. These are simply the interpretations of events that we create in our minds. And since events are neutral, we can create whatever meaning we want. So you have a choice in this, and the only way to lose in life is if you choose the wrong narrative.
The bad news is that you are fighting an uphill battle. Your brain is wired to feed you stories that will avoid doing the hard thing that you know you should do. By definition, the hard thing is uncomfortable and takes effort, so your brain invents stories to steer you away from it. We all have this internal demon: a whisper in your ear urging shortcuts, convincing you you’re a victim, and telling you that you just aren’t meant for it so that you don’t have to put in the work. This is the noble battle you are fighting every day.
The good news is that you have the power to choose which stories to believe. For example, if you are fired from your job, you can see yourself as a victim of a bad manager, or you can take this experience as training you to do better the next time. Same event, different interpretation. You may say that some events are so bad that there is no escaping suffering. That is true; but suffering is part of the journey and every struggle is raw material that will make you stronger in your next chapter. Ultimately, the quality of the stories you believe determines the quality of your life.
The losing story is giving into the demon in your head. It is believing you are a victim of life. That you failed. The winning story is simple: every event either moves you closer to your goals or teaches you a lesson that helps you move closer to them the next time. Every event is a positive step on the hero’s journey of your life. You must fight the demon daily, replacing the self-defeating narrative with one that empowers you.
Winning the battle against the voice in your head is your duty. When you feel bad for yourself, ask whether you failed or whether you are grateful to be given a lesson of experience. No matter how many voices surround you, the only story that matters is the one you tell yourself. The story is up to you. Choose it wisely. Until death, all defeat is psychological.