Your demons are not real
Your demons are not real.
You got picked last for kickball every recess. The school bully threw food at you in the cafeteria, your boss told you your presentation sucked. Those events happened and are very real. But … your demons are not those events. Your demons are the self-beliefs you took away from the events, the armor you built to prevent those events from happening again. As an example, it’s not that you got bullied, but that you internalized that you were a loser. Now you see the world through the lens of not being good enough. You become introverted and stay in your room to avoid the possibility of ridicule (a totally rational thing for a child to do by the way). The problem is those beliefs - the ones that actually kept us physically and emotionally safe as children - turn into the demons that follow up and hold us back into adulthood.
Everyone is born with a unique gift. As a child, you embody the gift. The innocence of childhood is not immaturity but rather the purity of being human. Over time we grow up, we get challenged by life, and we build up layers of armor that hide our purity from the world. What once served to protect us becomes the very armor that weighs us down in adulthood. It is how we lose track of ourselves. You know the feeling that you are living well but intuitively something isn’t right, like there is more to life? Those are the internalized self beliefs that are preventing you from living true to your gift. You only have two options: continue living life shackled by your armor, or build the courage to unshackle yourself.
The most empowering insight of all is that the layers of armor - the insecurities, lack of confidence public speaking, avoiding public failure, whatever it is for you - are just beliefs, and you are free to believe whatever you want. The reward for shedding your armor is re-gaining access to that unique superpower that makes you, you.
How do you do that? You have to convince yourself that your negative beliefs are not inherent flaws, but just layers of defense that you don’t need anymore. Start by questioning your beliefs: Are they objective truths, or are they assumptions rooted in past experiences? Then every time that you notice a negative self-belief, in that moment, you must decide whether you win or your demons win.
Life is hard. Shit happens. We build walls to prevent things. But the way back to your true self is clear. First, understand the events that shaped your negative core beliefs. Second, embrace that you are fully in control of how you interpret those events. Sit with that for a second and really believe it. Finally, you are ready for the fun part. You can let your demons dictate your path. Or you can tell those demons to go fuck themselves, each and every day. It’s up to you.